Confessions of a Disillusioned Child Welfare Worker: An Introduction

My head has been swimming with things I want to say and truths I would like to speak. Yet here I sit and struggle to find the words to begin.  I come to you today after two years as a child welfare worker in remote, northern Canada. Looking further back, I come to you as a social service professional with ten years in group homes, shelters, crisis centres, and so on. My wish is to paint you a picture of what that has felt like. I hope I can communicate all the different truths I have held at once. I hope to explain how I came to describe myself as disillusioned.

The issue of high turnover and burnout in child welfare workers has been raised time and time again. Throughout various studies we see the same types of reasons emerge to explain why that may be. High caseloads, administrative demands, stress, and responsibility. A lack of training, resources, and support. In all of these statistics, we strip the feeling away. Our discussions of burnout and vicarious trauma all seem very detached and disassociated. Perhaps that is fitting.

So, I come to you as a living, breathing child welfare worker. I hope to inject the feeling back into these conversations. I hope to demonstrate how profoundly I have been impacted. I will not pretend to be a representative of child welfare workers everywhere. But perhaps there will be pieces of this story that will make someone feel less alone.

Before going any further, it is imperative I take a moment to make an assertion. I do not believe that the experiences of the child welfare worker can be equated to the experiences of children and families who are subject to this system. There is power and privilege in being able to enter and exit this system at will; it is a privilege that many children and families are not granted. My aim is not to detract from the pain and injustices they have experienced. Nor is my aim to absolve child welfare workers of any harm they have caused. I have caused harm both in my actions and in my inaction, and I must answer for that. That is true.

I also believe it is true that to come to a holistic understanding of the harm created by child welfare system the way that it exists now, we must hear from all perspectives. I must leave it to the children and families to tell you the truth of that experience. In the meantime, I can tell you mine.  

I intend to make this a series with many goals. Here are some that come to mind:  

1.        To process two years and counting of my own experiences working in the child welfare system. To evaluate the harm it has done to me, as well as the harm I have done to others. 

2.        To hold out a hand to other child welfare workers who feel like they are drowning.

3.        To disrupt the codes of silence and separation that dominate among child welfare workers.

4.        To shed light on the reasons why workers burn out. To acknowledge the potential for harm should they choose to continue working in this state or leave.

5.        To highlight the human result of vast collections of child welfare policies, procedures, and paperwork.

6.        To begin to dream of how things could be different.

I plan to come back to you soon, once I have decided which direction to go next. Thank you for hearing me.

Until next time!  

-A Disillusioned Child Welfare Worker